Things that can help when accepting being childless not by choice
The path to acceptance of being childless not by choice is not a linear path up. There are many starts and stops along the way. As cliche as it sounds accepting childlessness is the epitome of 2 steps forward and 1 step back, on a good day AND acceptance is possible. Having a life of purpose, meaning, fulfillment, and fun can happen. For many of us the distance between being a bit worried that motherhood might not happen to the point where you know it won’t happen can be years. Hope, while helpful to give us time to acclimate to the reality of not being a mother, can also make the path to acceptance a long, drawn out, and bumpy one with many highs and lows. Here are some things to remember as you begin to contemplate the reality of being childless not by choice.
Be kind and compassionate to yourself when you feel the hard feelings. Society’s expectations of womanhood will be hard enough on you. Remember you are worthy as a person. Motherhood does not make a woman worthy.
Give yourself permission to imagine life without kids. Often times we are told that if we don’t give up, if we “manifest” it or pray hard enough motherhood will happen for us. The reality isn’t that way for everyone. You are not betraying your deep wish to become a mother or putting bad mojo into the universe by starting to allow thoughts of building a life you will enjoy without kids seep into your thoughts.
Start designing a different future for yourself. Even if it is little steps at first. What are the things you’ve put off doing? What are you spending too much time on that you don’t want to be, but are because you believe time is running out? Crap dates anyone? Start small and build. Maybe it is a vacation or getting a pet?
What has helped you to begin accepting being childless not by choice?