Childless Not By Choice: Coping By Staying In The Moment When Feeling Anxious Or Worried About The Future

When we are feeling anxious or worried this is typically, although not always, associated with “what if” thoughts about the future.  When you live a life where you don’t see many people in your same circumstance, like not having children, the imagination  can run wild.  Especially when what little there is regarding representation, doesn’t look fun.  Childless women are generally represented as bitter, chaotic, work alcoholic, lonely, cat lady, etc.  So, wondering about what the future holds can be a little nerve wracking.  Below are some tips on how to bring your thoughts back into the present.  

1.  Box Breathing- This is something that navy seals are taught for high stress situations.  This is also called four square breathing.  To engage in box breathing, breathe in and count slowly to 4,, hold for 4, and then release for 4, then repeat 3 more times.

-Grounding Technique called 5,4,3,2,1- Attach a number to each of the 5 senses; see, feel, hear, taste, and smell.  When you notice your thoughts drifting too far into the future bring yourself back to the present by noticing 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you taste, and 1 thing you smell.  Feel free to mix up the numbers and the senses.

-Guided Meditation -Apps and YouTube can make guided meditations more accessible than ever.  Here are some suggestions on places to look either through their app or YouTube.  Some of the apps cost money so YouTube is a good alternative if budget requires they be free.   Calm App, Headspace App, Peace in Timer App.

-Notice your thoughts and then intentionally redirect your thought back to the present.  To help you ground your thoughts back to the present say to yourself something that reminds you to be in the moment.  Some suggestions are;I am here, I am present, be in the present moment, I am focusing on today

-Body Scan- people often lie down, close their eyes, take a deep breath and exhale.  Then, start at the top of your body and intentionally pay attention to the sensations and feelings of your body, one section of your body at a time.  Move down your body and repeat.  There are also guided meditations for this.

Let me know in the comments what helps you bring your thoughts back to the present.