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  • Childless Not By Choice: ABUNDANCE

    How do you successfully seek abundance when it feels like your life is defined by what you don’t have? This is the struggle many women who are childless not by choice experience.  How to chase what they want when it feels like what they are chasing is the silver medal.  Some runner up life versus the life you imagined for yourself.  When you’re childless not by choice, seeking abundance includes honoring and acknowledging your grief.  Creating abundance isn’t sugar coating your reality with toxic positivity.  It isn’t choosing joy.  It also isn’t gaslighting yourself into forcing yourself to be thankful for what you do have in your life.  Creating an abundant life is not dismissing the very real feelings of grief and loss.  It is not denying you have feelings.  Abundance is not denying that you feel as if  the universe is doing you wrong instead of feeling grateful when despite all your gratitude, manifesting, and open mindset, you will not be a mother or a father.  Seeking an abundant life does not mean you don’t get to be angry, or pissed.  Really pissed and really sad.  In fact, when we don’t allow ourselves to feel those feelings, instead of opening our mind to allow abundance in, we close our mind and keep abundance out.  When we resist feeling what our mind naturally wants us to feel, we keep the positive feelings out and the difficult feelings in.  The sadness, anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, isn’t kept at bay, instead, those feelings get trapped inside.  Trapped inside while abundance is locked out.  

    What is the first step to creating abundance for the childless not by choice women?  It is to FEEL your pain.  Acknowledge your grief.  Recognize it, claim it, and process it.   Therapists like to say the only way out is through.  When you’re childless not by choice this process can feel isolating, lonely, and unacknowledged by those around you.  Our supports often don’t know what to say or do.  In response we don’t share because we don’t get the support that helps us feel seen and understood.  Yet, the path to abundance includes feeling the grief.  Skipping ahead to changing your mindset, opening your mind, expressing gratitude, will likely mean your path will always circle back to honoring your loss.  Remember, abundance is about allowing the good in not keeping the bad out.  

     If you are childless not by choice you CAN have an abundant life.  The abundant life isn’t about getting over your grief, not feeling your loss, or telling yourself everything happens for a reason.  The abundant life is about opening yourself up and being available to the love, resources, opportunities, and experiences your life has in store for you.  As you honor your grief and move forward be open to the subtle ways the universe will send you the makings of an abundant life.  Notice the subtle mindset shifts that might take place as your grief changes shape.  You might start to look forward to something that you can do because you don’t have kids.  You might start to reimagine what your life can be, and you might feel excited about the possibilities.  You might start to notice that love enters your life in unexpected ways and through unexpected people, in unexpected places.  By allowing the grief in you open yourself up to receive the guidance and support it takes to create a life that is meaningful, purposeful, and fun.   A life that respects and honors your loss  and a life that is filled with abundance.

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