Childless Grief and Celebrating the Holidays

The ongoing grief of childlessness not by choice is tiring and exhausting.  Grief isn’t a prescribed period of time.  It ebbs and flows and can often flare around anniversaries and holidays.  The December holidays can be particularly triggering as they are often times of family, children, and traditions.  Not only do you manage the grief of childlessness, you often have to manage the questions from family about when are you having kids?  When are you going to get married?  Are you dating anyone?  Have you thought about…insert solution to said childlessness.  You may not want to drag out bins of decorations and engage in elaborate celebrations and you might not want to completely ignore the holidays either.  Here are some low key holiday tips if you are looking for something in the middle.

1.  Light a scented candle that has a holiday scent.  The aroma can trigger those holiday feelings and if those feelings become overwhelming you can blow it out and move on.

2.  Listen to music.  With apps you can ensure your holiday music doesn’t contain any children’s songs.  You can play those songs that are more adult centered.  Band Aid-“Do They Know It’s Christmas” anyone?  Again, this is easily turned on and off depending on your mood.

3.  Get the peppermint mocha at Starbucks.  Treat yo self.

4.  P.S It’s ok to throw out the holiday picture cards you get from your neighbors, friends, co-workers, family, and every stray dog and cat you’ve ever met with a partner and kids.  Chuck em if they sting.

What are some ways you celebrate a low key holiday?